No Crying On The Yacht – Retro Tee
There’s no space for feelings between champagne flutes and tax evasion.
The No Crying On The Yacht Tee is for emotionally detached icons who know that tears clash with designer swimwear. This isn’t just a t-shirt—it’s a non-negotiable vibe policy. Luxe, petty, and unapologetically heartless at sea.
Features:
✔ Soft vintage cotton – like a luxury towel but for your trauma
✔ Unisex fit – oversized for tantrums, tight for thirst traps
✔ “No Crying On The Yacht” front print – because feelings aren’t on the guest list
✔ Ideal for boat days, soft launches, and silently judging everyone on board
If you’re gonna sink—at least do it in style.
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length (from center back), in | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 | 23.70 | 25.00 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
Care instructions
– Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
– Do not iron
– Do not dryclean
– Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
– Tumble dry: low heat
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