Expensive – Retro Tee
It’s not just a price tag. It’s a personality type.
The Expensive Tee is for the girlies, gays, and theys who cost too much, text back too little, and leave a trail of overstimulated exes and declined Amex charges in their wake. This isn’t just a shirt—it’s a luxury warning label with attitude.
Bold varsity-style lettering screams what your bank account already knows and your therapist suspects—you’re high-maintenance, low-tolerance, and worth every damn cent.
Features:
✔ Premium vintage-wash cotton—like butter, but bougie
✔ Relaxed unisex fit—oversized for drama, fitted for flex
✔ “EXPENSIVE” front graphic—because subtlety is for people with coupons
✔ Perfect for brunch, breakdowns, or being emotionally unavailable in style
Because you’re not difficult—you’re premium.
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length (from center back), in | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 | 23.70 | 25.00 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
Care instructions
– Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
– Do not iron
– Do not dryclean
– Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
– Tumble dry: low heat
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